otarafa: geek cuture butarafa: pirelli calendar officail site
attorney vs. witness

cevap ver  kazımkanat   09/02/07

These are ATTORNEY questions taken from a book called Disorder in the 
American Courts.  These are real people answers said in court, word for 
word, taken down by court recorders and now published by the people 
who experienced the torment of staying calm while they were recording 
these actual sentences.

ATTORNEY:   Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:    No, I just lie there.
 ________________________________
ATTORNEY:  What is your date of birth?
WITNESS:   July 18th.
ATTORNEY:  What year?
WITNESS:   Every year.
 _____________________________________
ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:     Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:      Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:      I forget.
ATTORNEY:  You forget? Can you give us an example of something you 
forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY:   How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS:      Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY:   How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS:      Forty-five years.
 ______ _______________________________
ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband said to you that 
morning?
WITNESS:     He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:     My name is Susan.
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in  
voodoo?
WITNESS:      We both do.
ATTORNEY:   Voodoo?
WITNESS:      We do.
ATTORNEY:   You do?
WITNESS:      Yes, voodoo.
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, 
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:   Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ____________________________________
ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:   Uh, he's twenty-one.
 ________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:   Would you repeat the question?
 ______________________________________
 ATTORNEY:   So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 WITNESS:      Yes.
 ATTORNEY:   And what were you doing at that time?
 WITNESS:      Uh....
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:    She had three children, right?
WITNESS:       Yes.
ATTORNEY:    How many were boys?
WITNESS:       None.
ATTORNEY:    Were there any girls?
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:      By death.
ATTORNEY:   And by whose death was it terminated?
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:      He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY:   Was this a male or a female?
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a 
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS       No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on 
dead people?
WITNESS:      All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you 
go to?
WITNESS:      Oral.
 ______________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:    The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:   And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:    No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an 
autopsy on him!
 ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:      Huh?
 ___________________________________ _________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a 
pulse?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you 
began the autopsy?
WITNESS:       No.
ATTORNEY:   How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:    Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:   But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:    Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing 
law.


Keywords:best for last
Kategori: sayfa
cevap ver  daralgül   09/02/07
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in 
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.


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